Finding 'The One'...My Story

 

Everyone has some expectations about how their life partner would be. Thought most of them imagine things which are too rare to find in a person or may be they have to be satisfied with meeting some of those expectations. For me, the criterion was simple, A simple girl who loves me, respect my parents and not too expensive to afford. its not a rare trait in girls even in these times... certainly important. Getting the right partner is so important to people, most of them end up wondering am I with the right person. I have a different approach to that.. I always had.. always will have. whenever I have to take a decision, I try to weigh every relation information and try to make a decision that I feel I can carry with me. because for me, the decision itself is not that important. what I do to make that decision a 'right decision' is what is more important to me. so when I finally decided to give-in to a year long persuasion of my family to get me engaged with the 'right' girl, there brought some proposals. I saw all of them but don't know something special was with this one girl... She was beautiful, slim, well-heighten and from a respected family in the society. but there was something else too.. something that's hard to give words to, something that made me push myself beyond that line where instead of just seeing the picture, you agree to 'meet' the girl.  

My notion of 'meeting the girl' was not the same as others. everyone said, "you will see 3-4 girls and then you can decide. there's no need to hurry in such decisions...". but to me, if I am going to see the girl and then I say no to her, it seems inappropriate to me. and fortunately, I never had to do it.  

The girl I met, My Girl now onwards, was a perfect match for me, at least that's what I thought when I first met her... :) and over the time this little thought, turned into faith, then into belief.. and now everyday this belief is growing stronger and stronger. 

So, how do you know or decide that she is the one in just one meeting and that too for hardly half an hour? Well, most of them says, you will get a signal, or a inner voice, or bells will start ringing in your heart etc etc... trust me nothing of that sort happens.. when you are sitting with that person, you don't focus on all these things, you focus on how are you feeling. that feeling, when you are with her/him is more important anything else. you may give number of 'logical' reasons why this person is not the right person for me, but you can not change how you felt with them. if that feeling is good, then you have got your match. if its not, if you are afraid, nervous, hasty, impatient and skeptical, you are not with the right person.  Here, keep in mind that you may feel all of this when you start your meeting, but by the time you end it, you should not have any of those feelings, that's when you know. that's how I knew :) 

No one is perfect, if I try to find flaws in her, I won't take much time and if she's asked the same, I'm sure she would have an even bigger list more promptly ready for me... its not about finding the right or perfect match, its about making a relationship which is perfect! This worked for me for this lifetime, and I hope you will find your better half in your own good ways.  

Have faith in Love, it will find you sooner or later, all you have to do then is, realize it.

Forgiveness - A Virtue In Disguise

in my life, there were certain incidents, which made me believe that I will never be able to forgive some people in my life. People who betrayed me, people who backbited me, people who had kept a score against me, people who gave me such a hard time, people who I would never want to see again in my lifetime.

The more I thought about those things/events, the more I hated them and even the idea of seeing them. it is so hard when you trust someone to be your friend, to be your wing-man, to be your moral support, and they reject you, not because something's wrong with you, but because they think that you're not worth it, because they take you granted, because they think that you can never accomplish anything worthwhile in life and being with you is nothing more than just a waste of time. Sometimes, I thank them, because if it were not for them, I would have never challenged myself and raise my level above them. But somewhere within that feeling kept me from even thinking about them, let alone forgiving them. 

Until recently, when I realised that its a burden that i am carrying with me for so long, its a worthless waste of time crap which has pinned me down and these feelings have become heavier ever since they first started bothering me. This has prompted me to give a second thought to my inner-conscious and I asked myself, IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

This feeling of anger/grudge/betrayal and god knows what, is eating me from inside and now its time for me to FREE myself from this burden.

So I have forgiven them, not because they deserved it, NO! but because I wanted to feel lighter, and it worked? you bet it did! The moment I forgive them, I felt so light, so free, so joyful and so much positive than I ever was...

Holding grudge against anyone doesn't do any harm to them, instead its like smoking cigarettes, sooner or later, it will kill you from inside to a point of no return. Thankfully, I was not there yet. but most of us don't understand it until it happens to us.

To a future, where forgiveness prevails more than grudge and revenge.